Saturday, January 19, 2008

I didn't know how to go about this....

Last week I lost a cousin, Jarrod. I wanted to write about it but didn't quite know what to say, because I couldn't get a tangible handle on my feelings about it all.

Tonight, I was given a link to a blog his brother Jason has started and now I know why I was having a hard time posting.

For the first 15 or so years of my life, I used to see my cousins on this side of the family somewhat regularly. I have really fond memories of those times :D

(Spaghetti is definitely one of them, as is the music, the kwel basement (so I always thought) and also the chicken lady down the street... oh cream at the Calliope and fish and chips and, and, and.... )

and really always looked forward to spending time with them.

I think we were closer for many reasons, then I was with the family on the other side, because of the distance. It was always so much easier to see each other (10 hrs drive vice 2-3 provinces and a ferry drive for the other side of the family). Maybe, too, it was because all of our ages were so close. Maybe for a lot of other reasons. It just has always felt like that for me.

They moved out of province and later, Mom and Dad and sibs also moved out of province too, eventually ending up in the same neck of the woods. However, I stayed here in Paradise (more or less ever since).

So as I count on my fingers, I figure that I haven't seen these cousins in almost 12 years. My last visit with them, was while I was visiting my aunt during my Christmas holidays out West in 1995.

So what am I grieving...

A young man gone too soon - YES !!!

Not being able to be with them as they go through all of this - YES!!!

But the biggest thing is that after reading Jason's blog is how much I didn't get a chance to know Jarrod. You really don't know what you don't know until some one points it out.

And how much I miss them all.

I can't do any justice in celebrating Jarrod's life, so please see Jason's blog, Creative Compass.

I'm going to miss that smile, Jarrod !!! I think that given a chance, we would have had a real "howl" together.



DrowseyMonkey said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I just went over and read the was a fine tribute to a good man, as is your post.

MedStudentWife said...

Thank you Drowsey. Jason did a fine job.

MedStudentWife said...

Drowsy - thank you for posting on Jason's blog :)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

{{{HUGS}}} to you and your family. I am sorry for your loss. :(

MedStudentWife said...

Thank you Olga

Jason said...

Hey Cuz,
I sent you an email. I don't know if you got it.
Thanks for posting a tribute to Jarrod.
I am trying to get caught up on the school work I missed last week.
Hey, I read your post about fitness and dare I say, that when I was trying out for the RCMP after being striken with RA, I found that "The Firm" series of videos gave me an edge in the obstacle course because it combined weights and cardio (plus I looked great in those 80s headbands)anyway, in '04 I was the second oldest person in my group of approx. 26 wannabes and I had the fastest time on the course.
As life would have it I am now a writer and I still rock to the 80s.


MedStudentWife said...

Hey there J -

I got your e-mail and pinged you back :)

*lol* the fitness... for me these days it consists of trying to go to yoga class once a week and schleping around my waaaayyyy too heavy backpack.

Catch ya later !!